As part of my ongoing travels on the path of single parenting, I have tried many methods to keep balanced, keep focused , keep my head on straight!
We all have those days when we wake up calm and collected, then Junior starts mucking around with the dog while we get brekkie on the table. Next thing, the little one faceplants in to the wall and ends up with a split lip, and the calm is shattered by a piercing scream.
Or the days we are in a rush to get to a job interview, feeling a little under pressure, and the shower tray suddenly starts leaking onto the tiles.
Or the day our co-parent is in the driveway with the engine running, when our offspring decides he/she does not want to go today, and pretends to be a leech attached to your leg.
Then there is the day when no matter how hard you both try, you cannot come to an agreement with the co-parent, and you can feel yourself becoming engulfed by a wave of frustration at how unfair life can be!
So in a fairly lucid moment I decided to give meditation a go. So for me meditation went something like this: Day 2, get a DVD from the library, put my yoga mat in front of the television and get in position. Next the dog is licking my face, so I get up to put the dog outside, where he proceeds to whine…
Day 2, play the DVD in my office on the laptop, cat decides to curl up against me and purr loudly. Get up, put him outside, where he starts to scratch at the door…
Day 3, close the door to the office, start DVD on laptop, settle… And my mind keeps whirring away and jumping from idea to idea, I breathe, start again…
Day 30 something: have found a great app which helps me get through a 10 minute meditation. Most days I can focus for a longer while and feel I am more in control. Some days I decide to take the dog for a walk instead, or go the gym (once in a blue moon). Or just have a bath.
The difference is that each day I allow myself the time to centre and focus on me and only me, even if sometimes it is only for 10 minutes. Allowing myself the luxury of looking after the most important person, priceless!
No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.